Seinfeld: The 10 Biggest Secrets The Characters Kept

Honesty is not something that comes easy to the characters on Seinfeld. The main characters are largely selfish and insecure people who would rather keep things to themselves than share openly with those who are apparently close with them. This has led to quite a few big secrets being kept on the show.

In some cases, these secrets are just part of the eccentricities of the characters. Some vain attempts to make themselves look better. And in most cases, these secrets are kept in order to benefit the self-centered characters, sometimes at the expense of others.

The New Cadillac

In a rare nice gesture, Jerry bought his father a Cadillac only for his father, Morty. But when Morty thinks Jerry is having financial trouble, he sells the car to his friend Jack to give Jerry the money. Insulted by this, Jerry decides to fly to Florida to buy back the car as a surprise.

Unfortunately, wanting to make the whole ordeal a surprise ends up being a lot more complicated for Jerry. It leads to Jack demanding double the amount of money and ultimately driving the car into the swamp making this a costly and unsatisfying surprise for Morty.

George Doesn’t Have A Disability

Throughout the series, George continues to prove there is no low point he will not sink to for his own benefit. While applying for a job, George realizes the employer is willing to hire him because he is using a cane. Despite it being a temporary injury, George is more than willing to exploit the situation.

He not only hides the fact that he is fully capable of walking, but he also makes his situation seem worse to get sympathy and perks. He has people carry him up the stairs and even pretends to need a wheelchair before inevitably being discovered as a liar.

Elaine’s Voice

When Jerry leaves a tape recorder in a stand-up club during one of his acts, a woman leaves a sexy message on it for him. Jerry, George, and Kramer all go wild for the message, wondering who it could be. Then Elaine reveals to George that it was her playing a prank on Jerry.

Along with Elaine keeping this secret to toy with Jerry, the secret begins eating away at George. He becomes infatuated with her yet she made him promise he would not tell Jerry the truth leading to a very awkward situation.

What Happened To Jerry’s Car

The characters on the show lie so frequently that they are able to come up with elaborate stories in the moment. Such was the case when George and Elaine borrowed Jerry’s car and damaged it. Wanting to keep their own negligence a secret, Elaine came up with a story about them being pursued by a street gang.

While Jerry initially buys the story, he begins to find inconsistencies in the two versions. And the whole big secret was just a way for George and Elaine to avoid taking a little responsibility for their mistake.

Refusing Pie

It is not just the main four characters on the show that was their secrets. Even some of the brief romances the characters become involved in can have some hidden aspects. In the case of Jerry’s girlfriend Audrey, that secret is a rather odd one.

While having a pleasant meal at the diner, Jerry offers Audrey a bite of his pie but she refuses. However, it is the fact that Audrey stubbornly refuses to give a reason for not tasting the pie that bothers Jerry so much. In the end, this one still remains a mystery.

George Cheated On The Contest

One of the most iconic moments in the show is the forming of the infamous contest. After George is caught in a compromising act by his mother, the gang decides to see who can go the longest without taking part in a certain self-indulgent activity.

Much to everyone’s surprise, it ends up being George who wins the contest. However, more than five seasons later, during the show’s finale, George admits to Jerry that he actually cheated on the contest which is not terribly surprising.

The Marisa Tomei Plan

As it turns out, there is no one in George’s life from whom he is not willing to keep secrets, including his fiancé, Susan. This is especially true when George gets an opportunity to meet Marisa Tomei.

He ropes Elaine into his scheme so they can concoct an alibi for him when he goes to meet Marisa. However, the lie is so awkward that Susan immediately thinks it is George and Elaine who are having an affair.

Jerry’s Waistline

Though Jerry can sometimes seem like the most mature member of the group, there are other times when he is just as childish as the rest. He seems to be especially immature when it comes to his own appearance, going to great lengths to protect his own vanity.

Wanting to maintain his image as a healthy and fit man, Jerry proudly shows off that he wears pants with a size 31 waist. However, he later reveals that he actually wears a size 32 but changes the tag to one size smaller.

Elaine Faked It

It is quite impressive how effectively Jerry and Elaine have maintained a friendship despite their romantic history. However, there was bound to be the occasional awkwardness. The biggest example of that was when Elaine revealed a secret about their sex life.

She confesses to Jerry that she had always “faked it” when they were together. This news devastates Jerry’s sensitive ego to the point that it nearly ruins their friendship.

Kramer’s First Name

It is interesting that for the first five seasons of the show, Kramer was only known by that one name and a first name wasn’t even really discussed. It wasn’t until season 6 that the show introduced Kramer’s mother who finally revealed her son was named Cosmo.

Jerry admits that he had been trying to get Kramer’s first name for ten years. After such a long and well-kept secret, the truth of the name somehow still lives up to all the expectations.