Twilight: 10 Things About The Cullens That Make No Sense

Although The Twilight Saga is the story of Bella and Edward, it’s also the story of the entire vampiric Cullen family. The Cullens are the audience’s view into this world of vampire mythology, and they’re an extremely important part of Twilight in general.

However, there are a lot of aspects of the Cullen family that are really strange. Here are 10 things about the family that do not make any sense whatsoever.

10 They Live In A Small Town

In theory it seems like the Cullens live in Forks in order to stay under the radar, however anyone who has ever lived in a small town knows that this idea makes no sense.

A big city would allow them to blend in, but living in a tiny town where everyone knows everyone completely guarantees that the Cullens are conspicuous as hell and have a lot of eyes on them.

9 They Live With People, Period

The Cullen family is, according to themselves, basically the vampire equivalent of vegetarians. They drink the blood of animals instead of people, even though animal blood never satisfies their intense and endless thirst.

So one has to wonder, if human blood is a temptation that torments all of them, why not leave the human world behind entirely? There’s no better way to avoid temptation than by literally removing yourself from it, and they don’t need to be around people for any reason.

8 They Settled Near Werewolves

Maybe it’s just the worst luck in the world, for both the Cullens and the local werewolf pack, but what are the chances they’d settle in some random small town that has a built in anti-vampire squad?

According to the Volturi, werewolves are extremely rare, and if the Cullens want to maintain peace then it’s baffling that they didn’t decide to settle down somewhere else once they realized the danger that the locals of Forks could pose to them.

7 They’re All Soul Mates

At the start of The Twilight Saga, Edward is the only Cullen who hasn’t paired off with his ultimate forever love. Even though the Cullens pose as a family, they’re really a bunch of unrelated people who are in love with each other.

But the assemblage of their family was completely random and they fell for each other after they were turned, so how is it that everyone they turned into vampires happened to be each other’s soul mates?

6 They’re Venomous

In most vampire lore, a human is turned into a vampire by being bitten by another vampire. But Twilight takes that a step further and explains that the bite turns people because vampires have literal venom.

Granted, none of the Cullens besides Edward is putting their mouths on the local humans, however it is a little odd that they’ve never had any mistakes since their saliva and bodily fluids are quite literally toxic.

5 They’re In High School

For some ungodly reason, a lot of vampire stories in contemporary media are about vampires in high school. However, most people don’t even want to experience high school once, let alone over and over again for an eternity.

Yes, the Cullens are young, but they could just as easily pass for college students, so why bother with the inanity of high school on a repeat basis?

4 They’re Around People Who Bleed

As every vampire in the Twilight universe says ad nauseam, Bella has the sweetest smelling blood in human history, so it does make some sense that she drives the vampires around her nuts.

But the Cullens are pretty open about how tempting blood is in general, and they constantly put themselves in a position to be exposed to it. For instance, how many kids in school get nose bleeds, or paper cuts? So how is it that they’ve never had issues with that before?

3 Carlisle And Esme Are The Parents

Like they do with everything else, the Cullens came up with a thin excuse to explain why their “parents” look like they’re maybe 5 years older than the children.

However, why not just come up with a reason that makes more sense? Why couldn’t they all be adult siblings, or cousins, or even aunts and uncles? There are plenty of familial relationships in the world, and pretty much any one of them would make more sense than Carlisle and Esme being the parents of the family.

2 Their Sparkles

Of all of the things that don’t make sense about the Cullens, this one is one of the weirdest. So in the Twi-verse, vampires avoid the sun because they sparkle, and the Cullens settled in Forks because it’s constantly overcast.

But like… that’s not how sparkles work. They don’t suddenly cease to shine at all just because it’s raining, they’re just not as sparkly as they would be in the sun. So how is it that the Cullens look completely normal in the Forks gloom?

1 No One Has Figured Them Out

The Cullens are in Forks living their lives because they want to blend in. However, they really, really suck at that.

It makes sense that no one in Forks has figured out that they’re vampires specifically, but it makes less than no sense that everyone around them hasn’t figured out that something is way off with them. They do everything in the world to stick out like sore thumbs, and it is beyond bizarre that they’re still living in relative secrecy.